Senator Brett

Step off the Edge, Feel Your Lungs!


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TOTD – Spare Change Equals One Ticket?!

Thought of the Day – Spare Change Equals One Ticket?!

by Senator Brett

Is it just me, or does anyone else think that homeless people could get more creative with their panhandling? I mean, I think it’d be great if homeless people went to the mall with a bunch of raffle tickets and stood next to the escalators with a sign that read Continue reading

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Chickens Are Making Us Dumb!

Okay, so this is gonna be one of those posts that makes everyone mad. I’m okay with that. You know what… let’s just get right to it…

Chickens Are Making Everyone Dumb!

by Senator Brett

Okay, this Chick-fil-A thing is getting WAY out of hand! And, not just on one side of the issue… on all sides. Actually, to be honest, the fact that this thing is even risen to the title of “issue” is a sad commentary on the state of our national discourse. So, seriously, everyone just stop for the next few minutes. Take a little bit of your time, read this, and then decide if what you are doing/saying/thinking makes any sense at all.

1. To the mayors that are trying to keep Chick-fil-A out of your cities:

Stop! Just stop… you’re a mayor… a mayor… not Idi Amin! Continue reading


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TOTD – I Got Your Equal Rights Right Here!

Disclaimer: This is NOT a true statement or news report! I repeat… this is NOT a true statement or news report!!! I peat.. it’s just humorous… and kinda sad that it could have been a true statement and news report.

Thought of the Day – I Got Your Equal Rights Right Here!

by Senator Brett

From the A-Holed News Press

(Madison, Wisconsin) – Wisconsin State Governor, Scott Walker, met with state legislators today to address the opinion that the state might be losing a public relations perception battle over the issue of Equal Rights. He said that he expected his office had aptly handled the situation by issuing the following statement: “Now that ‘Magic Mike’ has been released… we can all agree that true equality of the sexes has taken place. We men have our little discretionary films of T&A… and now women have their movie of biceps and abs. I, personally, find it a great social justice that our entertainment values are on the same playing field.”

However, Continue reading


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If You Need a Hug…

If You Need a Hug….


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TOTD – How To Truly Whiten Your Teeth!

Thought of the Day – How To Truly Whiten Your Teeth

by Senator Brett

I wanted to whiten my teeth today, but the truth is that I am terrified of sharp pointy things directed inside, or even near, my mouth and/or face. So instead of  making an appointment with a dentist I went out and bought my teeth some sweater vests, a Michael Buble cd, then I enrolled them at Alice Lloyd College, went to a Josh Groban concert and took them to a NASCAR event. Continue reading


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On A Tuesday

For those of you that do not know… I am adopted. I was adopted at the age of four by a family who loved me even before my biological mom felt the need to start her life over. This same family also tried to adopt my younger brother, Rene; however, due to extreme circumstances and quite a few misunderstandings, the state would not allow it. Continue reading


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TOTD – You Are Five Seconds Away From Being Dead!

TOTD – You Are 5 Seconds Away From Being Dead!

by Senator Brett

I know a lot of people out there like the television show Mythbusters. And, I would be lying if I didn’t confess that I have probably watched about twenty, or twenty-five, episodes myself. Sometimes, it’s a pretty good show. However, several years ago they devoted an episode to researching the old wive’s tale of “The 5 Second Rule”, you know, the one that says that a piece of food can hit the floor and it’s still good to eat as long as it doesn’t stay on the ground for more than five seconds.

Now, don’t get me wrong, Continue reading