Senator Brett

Step off the Edge, Feel Your Lungs!


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TOTD – The Golden Death?!

I saw a commercial the other night that inspired this…

Thought of the Day – The Golden Death?!

by Senator Brett

So… Golden Corral has now added a chocolate fountain AND a cotton candy machine to it’s already over-the-top-here’s-your-heart-disease buffet lineup… which makes me think…

Golden Corral should get a tax break for every person that dies in their restaurant or shortly after eating at the establishment: $5K for anyone that dies waiting in line to get their food… because we all know that waiting causes the heart a great deal of stress, $10K for anyone that dies mid-bite… uh, because chewing is an exercise, $15K for anyone that dies after leaving a Golden Corral Continue reading

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TOTD – Deliciousness & Death… Eh, Who Cares?!

Thought of the Day – Deliciousness & Death… Eh, Who Cares?!

by Senator Brett

Sometimes I wish that I had diabetes… Continue reading


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TOTD – Parental Discretion is Advised?!

Okay, look… I know… I know… I need to develop a different sense of humor. For some reason, no matter what I try, my mind always leads to the sophomoric and low-brow. It’s where my brain lives, apparently. I promise to TRY to come up with clever and funny things that are wholesome and good, and I promise that I have been trying… it’s just not working out very well. At all. 🙂

Also, I think I will start posting videos in these entries with songs that are kinda blowing me away at the moment, or that I stumbled across and love, or… just songs that I have always loved and think that you should listen to because I said so. So it is written, so shall it be. 

And since I’ve been largely absent these last few weeks I am going to give you two TOTD’s. I know… I know… I am a giver! It’s just that what I am giving is usually not something people are interested in… like Chia Pets… or Libertarians. 🙂

Lastly, and this is MUY IMPORTANTE (which, as we all know, is Spanish for “superwichtig”)… the following TOTD’s Continue reading


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TOTD – When I Bing, You Bing!

Thought of the Day – When I Bing, You Bing!

by Senator Brett

Okay, this might just be me…

So, Bing has a new commercial on the tele about how you can Continue reading


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TOTD – Happy Freedom Day, Aliens!

Okay, this might be a little lazy, but the truth is that I am reposting this for a specific reason. There have been only a few times in my life that I have experienced racism. Actually, I can only recall one other incident… and that was from a cop in Florida who insisted that I was a drug dealer, or had drugs, or was on drugs, or was thinking about drugs… and who had pulled me over for no other reason. Couldn’t even give me a ticket for speeding, but kept me there for a little over half an hour waiting for me to confess. (After the search I met my friends at Waffle House, ate a hearty breakfast, then went back to our campsite and got WAY baked… and then had a wonderful day at the beach! :p )

But, on Monday, at the hospital, I saw blatant racism against Hispanics, in general… and it really pissed me off. I will explain it all sometime soon when I share the entire story (which will be hilarious!). Don’t get me wrong… it was not from everyone on the staff… there were/are some great men and women (mostly the women) that were very helpful and that were actually concerned for everyone. But, there were two bad apples (sorry, male nurses) that actually shocked me because I have been so sheltered that I have never really seen, or heard, true racism.

I really would like everyone to watch the video at the end of this TOTD. It sums up EXACTLY how I feel about this issue. I cannot think of a better way to express my thoughts… so I am sharing this… again. All I ask from my friends, and family, and people reading this (who I consider “friends” now) is to be thoughtful… to think… to mull this issue over in your mind… and no matter the outcome of that… at least there has been a willful thought process… and that is all I want.

Oh, and if you enjoyed this, if it made you laugh, or think, or even want to use the restroom… please, follow the blog, sign up for the email, and “like” my Facebook page. When I get to a 1,000 followers and 200 “likes”… they give all my fans a free car of their choice. Honest to God… I would not lie to you about that! (Disclaimer: Senator Brett is like all politicians… therfore… a HUGE liar!)

Thought of the Day – Happy Freedom Day, Aliens!

by Senator Brett

On today, of all days, may we internally remember that while our country is so divided on so many, MANY, social and political issues… if our spirit is good, our minds are clear, our eyes are awake and our books are laid open and used… then we, as one nation, can accomplish so many great things. Happy 4th of July, everyone.

Although, to be fair, Continue reading


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TOTD – There is no Such Thing as Make-Believe!

Thought of the Day – There is no such thing as Make-Believe!

by Senator Brett

A friend of mine is reading a book entitled “How to Completly Please a Woman in Bed” and it occurred to me… Continue reading


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TOTD – How To Truly Whiten Your Teeth!

Thought of the Day – How To Truly Whiten Your Teeth

by Senator Brett

I wanted to whiten my teeth today, but the truth is that I am terrified of sharp pointy things directed inside, or even near, my mouth and/or face. So instead of  making an appointment with a dentist I went out and bought my teeth some sweater vests, a Michael Buble cd, then I enrolled them at Alice Lloyd College, went to a Josh Groban concert and took them to a NASCAR event. Continue reading