Thought of the Day – Divine Driving!
by Senator Brett
Driving around yesterday I saw a bumper sticker that said, “Jesus is my co-pilot!” And I thought to myself, “Uh… I’m no plane expert… and I’m no God expert… but if you really do love Jesus… shouldn’t He be the actual f’ng pilot?!” I mean, come on, man… He friggin’ died for your sins and all! He should definately get a promotion for that! He shouldn’t have to ride “shotgun” anymore.
Oh sure, He died on a cross for the good of humanity, walked on water, raised people from the dead… but being in charge of your piece of crap Toyota Tercel might be a little too complicated for Him?! What?! You think you might have to give Him pointers?!!!!
I can just hear Jesus now… “Well, I did do that whole ‘fasting for forty days and forty nights/tempted by the Devil’ thing, and I did help out my friend Lazarus when he was in a jam… and then there was that ‘going down to Hell and getting the keys ordeal… but, how in the world do I turn on the windshield wipers on a ’95 Nissan Maxima?”
Or, “Let’s see… My Dad did create the universe… My family is responsible for all living matter… and I, personally, designed the Earths’ ecosystem… but, I’ll be damned… I-45 is confusing the Hell outta Me!!!”
All I’m saying… Jesus… needs a raise and a few more stripes on his arm… because, trust me… I saw “The Passion of the Christ”… and He definately has enough stripes on His back!
Although, I have to admit… if Jesus really did have an airline, and if the Bible is true about what happens on Judgement Day… it might be a little awkward…
“This is your captain, Jesus, speaking… we’ll be taking off shortly. Just wanted to let you know that we’ll be cruising at an altitude of 7,000 feet… right below the chorus of angels… the stewardess will be by shortly to take your order for cocktails and soft drinks and your personal choice of mansions on the Streets of Gold… and the in-flight movie today will be a review of all your sins that I have forgiven. Enjoy the flight!”
Anyway, have a nice day, people… and for the love of God… let Jesus… at the very least… make the public service announcement!!!
Your Friendly Senator!