Senator Brett

Step off the Edge, Feel Your Lungs!

TOTD – Your Phone Is Filthy!

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Thought of the Day – Your Phone Is Filthy!

by Senator Brett

My imaginary girlfriend is doing a photo shoot in Fiji for The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. So, it occurred to me that the only way we can have any sort of physical relationship is through “phone sex” which got me to thinking…

If you can have sex over the phone that means there has to be some sort of “phone foreplay.” And, if you can reach Home Plate over the phone, where does the game actually begin?

Basically, from now on I believe that every time I dial someone’s number I’m reaching First Base. If they answer… and want to talk… well, I just slid into Second. If they laugh at something I said… well, you know! Just keep that in mind, ladies, should I ever call you.

Although, I have to admit, this realization does not come without it’s drawbacks. I would like to take this time to apologize to all the guys that I have called over the years. Apparently, I was just curious (Phone curious?). Sorry to lead you on.

On a side note… I don’t find it at all sad that at this point I’d settle for “phone heavy petting,” or “phone making-out”… hell, I’d be pretty happy with “phone holding hands,” or “phone flirting-with-me-and-giving-me-your-number-and-then-never-calling-me-back-you-dirty-whore-I-met-at-Starbuck’s!”

Not that I am bitter.

Have a good one, people. Here is my imaginary girlfriend. I don’t know what is more beautiful… the woman or the shirt!

Your Friendly Senator


Author: senatorbrett

I guess the best term to describe me is "Tex-Mex... at its best and worst!" I am a native Houstonian who loves all things "sports", Spanish red wines, cooking, hoppy beers, women with low standards, way too much television, watching movies on rainy days and using the term "the cat's pajamas" even when it doesn't make much sense.

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