Senator Brett

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TOTD – Does Your Vote Count? Yes, Yes It Does!

4 Comments

*Disclaimer: I find a great deal of things to be funny, and my sense of humor, I think, covers a broad spectrum. And in that spectrum there lies the sophomoric and the low-brow. I’m sorry, but there are a lot of immature things that make me laugh. So, having said that… I hope this post doesn’t offend anyone. 

I also need your opinion. You cast the vote. Whatever name gets the most votes by the end of the weekend (Sunday night 11:59 p.m., Central Time) will be declared the winner and forever be attached to my life!

Also, I am not responsible if you are offended by the carefully chosen words and/or my mockery of some people. If you are truly offended, I apologize… however, I will add that not only am I sorry that I offended you, but that you also need to not take yourself so seriously and that you should probably smile more. Thank you… come back again! 🙂

Thought of the Day – Does Your Vote Count? Yes, Yes It Does!

by Senator Brett

As many of you know, I am close to my niece, Tessa. Due to some cooking commitments that I made for my sister’s church picnic I spent last weekend with her and her family, and therefor got a lot of quality time with my niece. After a great weekend it came time for me to leave on Sunday night. My niece goes into her room and comes back and hands me a stuffed creation.

Now, don’t get me wrong… my niece is very creative and artistic. She is nine-years-old and already is making some of her own clothes… and they look like they were bought from a cute kid’s boutique. Her paintings always place high in her art competitions and she thoroughly enjoys sewing, painting, designing… well, pretty much anything that requires imagination, skill and creativity. However, having said that… what she gave me was her attempt to make a “broccoli” character. I think she might have got her inspiration from watching too much Veggie Tales as a younger child. (Yes, a kid can watch too much Veggie Tales!) She goes on to explain that while she wanted to make a “broccoli” character it was not until she was almost done that she realized that she did not have enough stuffing. So I think that she was disappointed and just hurriedly finished the stuffed… uh… well, thing. To be honest, I don’t think she cared how it turned out.

But she gave it to me, and then added this admonishment, “I want you to have this so that you can sleep with it every night and have something of me close to you.” Sweet. Charming. Lovely.

At the same time… after seeing the final product that she handed me… it is also: disarming, odd… maybe even creepy. Here’s the truth… what she handed me does not look like broccoli… at all! And maybe I’m going to Hell… maybe… but what it kinda looks like is a big green penis. There, I said it!

Does it mean that I won’t sleep with it and that I don’t love the gesture? No, not at all. It’s nestled in the disheveled covers of my bed right now. However, that doesn’t mean that I still don’t think of it as it appears… you know… like the Jolly Green Giant got a full-on castration and sent me the weirdest gift package ever! Seriously, it’s like the Hulk had a unfortunate accident with his zipper and somehow that thing landed in my bed!

But, I am not an animal. I do understand that all stuffed gifts from your niece have to be named. But, being the person that I am, this nickname is going to have to make sense to me. And since it looks like, well, a penis… I have narrowed my choices for naming it to the following options. (This is the part where I hope y’all have a good sense of humor and aren’t easily offended.)

1. Dick Cheney

2. Limbaugh

3. Keith (as in, Olbermann)

4. Tucker (as in, Carlson)

5. Or my favorite… Glen Beck… or Becksters… or Beckie McBeckerson!

Anyway, if you would be so kind as to vote and let me know… I would greatly appreciate it. Just comment with a name or a corresponding number. Also, feel free to submit your own ideas… but, keep in mind to keep with the general theme. And, as you can clearly tell… I need ALL the help I can get!

Have a fantastic day, folks!

Your Friendly Senator

Here’s a pic to help you better make this very important decision!

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Author: senatorbrett

I guess the best term to describe me is "Tex-Mex... at its best and worst!" I am a native Houstonian who loves all things "sports", Spanish red wines, cooking, hoppy beers, women with low standards, way too much television, watching movies on rainy days and using the term "the cat's pajamas" even when it doesn't make much sense. www.senatorbrett.wordpress.com

4 thoughts on “TOTD – Does Your Vote Count? Yes, Yes It Does!

  1. OMG that is awesome!
    Definitely Tucker.

  2. I was a bit amused reading the story but when I saw the picture I laughed out loud! thankfully I have my own office so no one looked at me odd. This broccoli is funny and I don’t know how to vote but I vote Dick Cheney.

  3. I am late catching up on my emails as you must’ve noticed. but seriouslyf!!! how funny and unique is that gift!! Obviously I would be late voting buit I would go with OBIE for Oberrman….love ya!!!

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