by Senator Brett
While shopping the other day I noticed that the makers of Hot Pockets now sell large quantities of their product in a box labeled, “Family Value” Package. And, it got me thinking…
If you’re buying that many Hot Pockets to give to your children… let’s be honest here… do you really have “family values?” I mean, I can understand a “family value” package of chicken & broccoli, or a “family value” package of… let’s say… rice. But, Hot Pockets? Really? Really?!
But, I guess it’s all about marketing. I mean, they can’t really be honest and call it what it is, the “So, You Don’t Feel Like Cooking” Package, or the “Your Kids Determine What They Eat” Package, or the “Hope This Feeds Your Entire Fraternity” Package. That packaging would never… actually, it probably wouldn’t hurt sales at all because… let’s face it… if you’re already trying to buy that many Hot Pockets, you really don’t care what other people think. Your self-dignity went out the window a long time ago!
Now, before I get a ton of emails from people saying things like, “‘Hot Pockets’ are a good ‘after-school’ snack for my kids!” or “Until you have children, and have to feed them, you should keep your opinions to yourself!”… let me just say this, “Are you listening to all the ‘crazy’ that is coming out of your brain?!” On what planet does a Hot Pocket resemble food?! I’ve read what’s in them. From what I can tell, the number one ingredient is… “not food!” They should just put this label on the package, “Not Fit For Human Consumption, But FDA Approved!”
Anyway, that’s just my personal opinion. And, if it helps you any, I am a huge hypocrite. I’m hungry. I’m gonna go heat me up a couple of microwavable sausage biscuits. What can I say? I’m a Foodie!
Have a good one, people!
Your Friendly Senator