TOTD – You Are 5 Seconds Away From Being Dead!
by Senator Brett
I know a lot of people out there like the television show Mythbusters. And, I would be lying if I didn’t confess that I have probably watched about twenty, or twenty-five, episodes myself. Sometimes, it’s a pretty good show. However, several years ago they devoted an episode to researching the old wive’s tale of “The 5 Second Rule”, you know, the one that says that a piece of food can hit the floor and it’s still good to eat as long as it doesn’t stay on the ground for more than five seconds.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I have eaten plenty of food that has been on the floor for more than five seconds. Honestly, I would be surprised if I hadn’t eaten food that has been on the floor for an entire night. I do kinda, sorta, remember living in an apartment complex with a lot of close friends, and we partied way too much, drank way too much, partook of… let’s say “fancy oregano”… way too much. So, I’m fairly certain that somewhere along the line there had to be a morning (And, by “morning” I do mean “1 P.M.”) pizza snack that involved me picking up a piece of pizza off the floor and thinking, “Eh, it looks good to me!”
But, the Mythbusters episode really disturbed me. Not because they concluded that, indeed, the millisecond a food touches the floor it is tainted. No, what bothered me was this…
Who the hell are they doing this for?! Who out there didn’t already know that food was contaminated as soon as it touched the ground? Are there people out there that don’t know this?! Seriously, if they are doing a show about it, it must mean there are people out there that still question the science behind the old wive’s tale. Are there people out there that don’t get the term “contamination?” And, if so, are these the kind of people that would go, “Oh, you have leprosy?! Well, in that case, I’m only going to hold your hand that has three fingers for four seconds. You know, I have to be careful!”
I don’t know what makes me more sad… the fact that it is highly, highly, likely that I have eaten food that has been on the floor all night, or the fact that I might live in a country where there are people that need to be explained the simple concept “Food Touches Floor = Bad.”
At any rate… have a great day. May all your food be “floor free!”
Your Friendly Senator